


Just Once

by lodessa



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 17:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7540744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/pseuds/lodessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Janeway and Chakotay were only going to kiss once (and the time they finally gave that pretense up).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Once

“Something fascinating?” 

Chakotay smiles playfully, not all the way into a full on beam but just enough for those dimples to start emerging.

She notices, of course. She notices because she was staring at his mouth… again.

“I’m sorry, Chakotay,” Kathryn drags her eyes back up to his, “What did you find on that first Mesoamerican dig?”

“You can indulge your curiosity, you know.”

“My what?”

“You stare at my lips… a lot. Clearly they pose some kind of puzzle for you.”

She can feel herself flush. She’s been busted.

“I didn’t realize I was being so obvious,” she owns.

“I don’t mind,” he runs his tongue across that distracting bottom lip, “If you need to ask some questions or do some sort of hands on study…”

She can’t help the snort of laughter that escapes her at that. It’s probably the wine as much as anything else, but there’s also her first officer’s easy affable charm.

“I’m told they’re quite soft,” he adds, “If that helps clear things up.”

“Well aren’t we cheeky today?” she shakes her head, laughing, “I’m not sure how credible unsourced hearsay is, though.”

Sometimes she’s still surprised at the easy playfulness and banter they have started to fall into, even more so at how effortless it feels.

“I already invited you to investigate for yourself.”

He shrugs with a closed mouth grin, and Kathryn finds herself reaching out towards him. Her fingertip brushes against his lips, tracing the defined bow of the upper one before the fullness of the lower. His jaw goes slack and she feels his breath catch.

“Initial survey corroborates your assertion,” she swallows, knowing they are moving into dangerous territory here.

She should laugh, give his shoulder of his chest a playful shove and lean back away from him as she changes the topic. 

“Satisfied?” he smirks, like he knows that nothing could be further from the truth.

Her awareness of him, usually a low buzz she can pay no mind now, has sharpened into focus. This is foolish, stumbling into a charged moment like this head on, but she opens her mouth and the words come out anyway, “I don’t know. It could be an anomalous reading. After all, the calluses on one’s fingers dampen sensory input.”

“In that case, how might we try and verify-”

He stops abruptly as she presses her finger back to his lips.

“We shouldn’t…” she fails to protest, as he takes her hand in his and gently presses his lips to the pulse point at her inner wrist.

“No?” he asks with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Well, maybe just one try… to kill my curiosity.” 

“Of course,” he replies, twining his fingers with hers, or maybe it is she who is doing the twining.

She didn’t need to know how seamlessly their hands fit together, but now she does.

“Just once,” she repeats, to herself more than him.

His lips really are soft… and warm, and she just meant to briefly press hers to them, but she finds herself going back for more before she’s even managed to pull away.

“Definitely…” she manages, before swiping her tongue across them and feeling his mouth open to hers.

Her hands are on him and she doesn’t remember exactly how they got there. She remembers this has gone too far, but can’t seem to stop pushing it further as each time she kisses him a little longer. 

“...Soft,” she finally finishes, head falling back slightly in an attempt to catch her breath, only to feel it catch as Chakotay softly trails kisses across her throat.

“I should go,” she shudders, because she wants to do the opposite and she can’t afford to tipsily indulge in the direction they are headed. She needs to correct course.

“You do realize…” he punctuates his words with feathery light presses of his lips to her jawline, “That these are your quarters.”

“Right…” she tries to shake herself out the reverie brought on by wine and Chakotay’s lips and the smell of his shampoo, something herb tinted… maybe rosemary or thyme, “I meant…”

“You think this is a bad idea?” he finishes, pulling back far enough to look her in the eyes.

“Ill advised,” she hedges, but then she recaptures his lips again, pushing aside the urge that wells up to crawl into his lap and wind herself around him.

“I can leave if-” he starts to offer, only to be cut off as she kisses him harder, grabbing his head with both hands.

“One more minute,” she tells them both, “One more minute and then we stop.”

“One more minute,” he repeats, reaching up and caressing the side of her face, as they resume kissing.

She isn’t sure if it’s an agreement or the reverse, but she’s too busy exploring his mouth to ponder which it is. Her hands want to wander everywhere, and grabbing hold of the front of Chakotay’s uniform with both seems the safest way to anchor them as she resists the accessibility of the rest of him.

She could do this forever. That’s the thought that finally makes her pull back. 

“We really have to stop,” she sighs, stealing a couple more kisses across his cheek and jaw. 

“Okay,” he replies, pressing his lips to that spot right beside her ear

She turns her face back into his, seeking one more good kiss, before she pushes herself away, hands on his shoulders as she straightens her arms to separate.

“This…” she reaches for the words.

“Never happened?” he offers for her.

“Right…” she agrees, ignoring the tightness at the center of her chest, as she forces a smile, “Maybe we should eat before we try new alien wine next time.”

It isn’t the wine, part of her knows, but that’s an easier more convenient way of framing this. The truth is doubtless more complex, Kathryn tells herself that it’s been more than a year that they’ve been out here and well… maybe she should find some time to visit the holodeck more regularly.

“That might be wise,” he agrees with a smile that’s as tight as hers feels.

“For now, maybe we’d better cut the evening short and take a raincheck on dinner.”

She needs to take a cold shower, sober herself up, shake the moment off. 

“That seems… sensible,” Chakotay agrees, but neither of them moves for a tense stretch of time. It’s probably only thirty seconds but it feels like a lot longer.

“Goodnight, Chakotay.”

She walks him towards the door.

“Goodnight-” 

Her arms are around his neck and her tongue is inside of his mouth and suddenly she’s pressed between him and the bulkhead.

“I can’t… leave…” he murmurs, nuzzling his face against hers, “If you keep… kissing me.”

“I know,” she admits nipping his earlobe, “I should stop.”

“It doesn’t seem…” he breathes, “Like you… want to.”

“Want…” she replies, “Doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

That’s what she’s forcing herself to remember: She’s the captain. He’s her first officer. She still has a fiance back home.

“Doesn’t it?”

“It can’t…” she almost groans, kissing him forcefully and running her fingers through his hair, “The ship…”

“I know…” he sighs, reaching up and caressing her cheek as his thumb bushes her lips, “I just wish…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, for which she’s grateful. If he said it outloud it would make this twice as difficult.

“Goodnight,” she says again, pressing her face into his touch before slipping out from under his arms and into range of the door’s sensor, effectively forcing an end to this… conversation.

“Goodnight,” he replies, shoulders falling a little as he exhales, turning to leave, before cracking a smile as he adds, “Sweet dreams, Captain.”

As the doors close behind him, she slumps against the bulkhead and groans. _Stupid Kathryn. That was so incredibly stupid of you._

She tells herself she pulled herself back, salvaged the situation before it went any further, but she knows that in all likelihood she is going to have those dreams, that it is going to take a long time to forget what happened, what almost happened.

**Author's Note:**

> "More than one kiss" was requested via a Tumblr meme, and then it sort of got away from me, so there will be six chapters.


End file.
